Magnum Man--Taking Wine-o to a Whole New Level

Posted by Sam / at 10:31 AM / /

The restaurant I worked at didn't have a liquor license, so people brought their own wine/beer/liquor/moonshine/paint thinner frequently. This one regular in particular, though, always brought a magnum of wine. For himself.

A magnum, for those of you who prefer any amount of wine over .750L in a bag or box (or if you just don't know what a magnum is, that's fair too), is essentially a double-sized wine bottle, measuring in at 1.5L. The logic behind this is that the wine won't spoil as fast, it looks cool, or something science-y like that. (My extensive wikipedia-ing also lead me to find out that there is a wine bottle size called a "Solomon", tipping the scales at 20L. Way to go, King of Israel. Ancient Jews obviously knew how to party.)

Anyways, this guy would come in, be generally grumpy (I would too if I was eating out by myself on a regular basis), order food, nothing special. Then he'd ask for a wine glass and pull an opened (but still mostly full) magnum out of some sort of wine-purse he toted around and the fun would begin.

Glass after glass after glass, this guy would just sit there and drink.

I'd bring him his food, he'd eat, and drink some more. He'd pay, get up, and leave without saying much, that same scowl/stupor-riffic look on his face.

No idea how he gets home and keeps coming back.

Oh, and sometimes he comes with his family, that's a party. They're all freaking loud as hell, they order pizza, and he sits there and argues with them over God-knows-what and, of course, drinks.

Not sure I blame him.