Oh Right

Posted by Sam / at 12:33 AM / / 1 comments

I have a blog to update.

At the moment, I'm working in the kitchen at a summer camp. Hopefully hilarity will ensue. Or maybe just a bunch of anecdotes about kids doing stupid things. We'll see.

I also hope to dust off a few gems I've been saving from the pizza place and throw 'em up here.

It seems that I've picked up a few readers from a scathing review of this blog, and to all of you, thanks for sticking around.

Stay tuned for more blagging, internet.

Overheard at IT

Posted by Sam / at 10:47 PM / / 0 comments

"You better not be fucking...fucking chipper in the morning. I hate that. Chipper."

On an unrelated note,

Sorry for the stretch without updates. I've been busy. Send your stories in, I'll put 'em up.

No. Just...No. Not Okay.

Posted by Sam / at 12:25 PM / / 2 comments

Dear dude who thinks it's okay to take off his shoes and socks in a computer lab,

NO.

That's not okay. Your feet smell. Do that in the privacy of your own home, not in a lab that people besides you use.

Is this why I sometimes find socks under the desks? How do you leave without your socks?!

Where did you grow up that this is okay?

Keep your fucking feet off the fucking computers. I don't want that shit anywhere near the Mac Pros.

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

Love,

Sam

What an Honor

Posted by Sam / at 9:21 PM / / 1 comments

I have recently been honored to have had my shit wrecked by the folks at iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com

This has lead to not only the most traffic I've ever received, but the most feedback, aswell.

Neat-o.

Apparently, I have no soul. (FTA)

This is the part where I cry myself to sleep, right?

Well, I asked for this when I submitted my blog to this guy, right? I mean, the url is pretty self-explanatory.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Read the full review here.

Sorry if I Don't Seem Sympathetic

Posted by Sam / at 8:53 PM / / 1 comments

It's because I'm not. You've been getting emails for months asking you to change your password.

You ignored them.

Your account has been disabled for weeks, why are you coming in late at night, after you've been locked out for a good while to solve your problems?

I told you. The only people that have the power to help you don't work until midnight.

If you changed your password, you could've avoided all those annoying emails and this awkward encounter as I'm unable to assist your lazy ass.

Rawr.

The Big Arrow is Your Hint

Posted by Sam / at 7:48 PM / / 0 comments

A woman calls, saying the instructions she's reading skips a step when it gets to "install".

She says that a box pops up with the icon of the program she wants to install, a folder labeled "applications" and an arrow between them, pointing the icon towards the folder.

And there are no instructions on what to do for this.

SHIT. Call the fucking Coast Guard.

Yes. She couldn't figure out how to drag and drop the application icon over an inch of screen into the folder. Even with the arrow.

With this level of computer literacy, how do you idiots manage to turn your computers on?

Posted by Sam / at 12:01 AM / / 0 comments

A table finishes their meal, gets the check, and stares at it for about 25 minutes.

We weren't too busy, so whatever. No big.

When they're finally ready to pay, they ask me if they can split the check. Normal stuff, I tell them, "of course."

Then they pull out two credit cards, a wad of small bills, and a hand full of change.

A little confused, I ask, "split it three ways?"

They respond with the most confusing, nonsensical way to split up the check. Something to the effect of "Put 2.8 percent on this card, 45.2 percent on this card, and take the rest out of cash, but don't give me any bills with prime numbers or old white men on them."

Okay, maybe I'm a little bitter, but still.

Then I come back, and what do you know? I'm wrong. Big effing surprise, considering I only got as far as learning calculus.

Turns out I was supposed to take a tip out somewhere and do a handstand and summon the rain gods and do their taxes.

Federal and state.